One son named Blue and a daughter named Birdy. I’ll tell my son every day that the world wants to see him cry and sing. He will roar and breathe fire letting the world to see his strength. I’ll tell my daughter that the song blackbird isn’t her life story. She will fly meeting many people to learn from. Absorb the confidence, patience, and strength of our ancestors. Learn more, strive for more and people will see your name and color in a different light. I will tell them this because I never grew my strength, I want for them to find and cultivate theirs. To show the world that wisdom and kindness go together and shouldn’t be considered a weakness. That we never really grow up but are able to slowly make the right decisions. That I love them, that they are mine, and I will always cheer for them. I won’t tell them that they are special, that’s something they need to find out themselves. My dear bluebirds I set you free in a dark and cold world; my light always pointing towards warmth and peace.
Tag: young adult
The Drowning Child
There once was a child born underwater. Her mother felt it safer and a better way to grow her. She lived her days watching her mother and all else walk over her. From where she stood neither way of living looked better. Her mother was sick and kept the extent of it from her, by the time she found out her worst nightmare was upon her. She knew there’d be people wanting to save her, but she wasn’t so sure if they really wanted to help her. The death of her mother made her pull herself further. Under the deep blue filter the people looked smaller, were they just ghosts of what was offered? She questioned if these realms were even for her. So many people arms outstretched above her, still, she just continued to swim down under. As she saw the helping ropes and good blessings she started to realize that she should have never even bothered. Every day is a horror that she cursed these poor people hoping to see the drowning child to touch and comfort. She never learned and didn’t want to, still, she felt bad for the people above her. She should try to live like they, she thought often. She was never able to get past horror. She’s still down under the water filling it with tears and salt hoping to choke her.
Stolen Firsts Pt. 2
Fighting with the door, I stumbled into my dad’s apartment. Wiping my lips before walking in; the bottom half of my face still feeling wet. I didn’t go to that random guy’s apartment, John he said his name was. I did get his number, saying that I would call him and maybe take him up on his offer. I hugged my dad, told him about my crazy night at work, and my crazy drunken after work party with my bestie. Forgetting all about what had happened a block away from his apartment.
Summer turned into fall and the what if questions began to creep in. What if I had gone with him, What if I had called him the next day? Would I have turned into a manhunt case? With the curiosity building and my libido bubbling over I gave him a call.
“Hello?” He answered with his thick Italian accent. It made me wonder how long he has been here.
“Hey! Um, is this John? I don’t know if you remember me but I met you in Harlem. My name is Upenda?”
“Oh yes! I remember you, the beautiful girl I saw when I was getting off of work a few months ago. It has been so long! Why did you not call me, you didn’t like me?”
“No. Just busy, you know. You work around where I was that night? Where do you work?”
“I’m a personal trainer at Planet Fitness. If you ever need help getting in shape I can help you. However, I wouldn’t want you to lose your body. I love my women bigger.”
I sighed internally. Will this be a fetish thing? Not that I wasn’t alright with it. I just didn’t know what kind it would turn into.
I knew when he said “Baby, let me take you out to eat and shopping. I bet my baby would like that, right? Daddy loves to see his baby happy.”
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How’d you like it? I know my grammar and sentence structure is terrible. Please leave comments and feedback!!
Stolen Firsts
“Oh, shit!” He said, with panic. I looked down at him worried “What’s wrong? What’s happening”
“There’s a lot of blood. I’ve never seen this much blood. Does it hurt?” “No, let me get up.” I get up staring at the bed that looks like a murder scene. I then feel a rush of blood and other wet things pour out between my legs. The floor is red, my clothes are red and he’s going to need to buy a new bed.
Two years earlier, coming out of the subway was when I first met him. I was wasted, tired and hungry. Climbing the never ending stairs while mentally counting how many blocks it was to my father’s house. A muscular man, 6’2” walking towards me, throws his cigarette and chugs the last of his coffee. He then says to me “Hey baby, did you have a goodnight?” I don’t know this man, I don’t know anyone here. I turn around to see if someone is behind me. Three am really is the hour that everyone stops existing. Noticing that I thought he was talking to someone else he grabs my chin and leans me against the bus stop. My first kiss was all teeth and saliva, from a stranger. I didn’t like it but I didn’t say no, so I guess that convinced him to ask the next question. “Want to come to my house? It’s just up the street from here.”
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Should I continue? I’d love to see some comments
Ice Cream Truck
When you hear the first chime
You know it’s time
To do all the things you pine
The Ice Cream Truck!!
You’re in luck
The best way to spend a buck
That’s not what you want
Your agenda is to flaunt
Maybe a new lover to haunt
Enjoy the sights
Enjoy the nights
Do it with all your might
Look for the mime
Watch the ducks
Never forget to love with your heart
Don’t ever wait for your Knight
Spring Showers
I wrote it as a random FB status. Then I realized I liked. When I tried to save it forever FB tried to tell me it did not exist. Here it is, thanks to FB memories.
I smelt that scent again.
The scent I told you I loved so much.
The on set of rain in the air.
It only happens in the Spring you know, that scent.
The pictures that were taken of us wet as if from swimming with our clothes on.
Of you looking into the camera full of love as the ripplets of water slid down your face.
Spring smells will always remind me of you.
Every April, whenever it rains and that smell hits my nostrils
I will look for you and whisper “I miss you”
Extraction
They always smell sterile don’t they? Dentist offices. She wonders why people are afraid of this place. Most people wouldn’t even come to this one. Hidden, underground, and with no windows. She isn’t scared, even though, she’s going to remove all four of her wisdom teeth. There’s a new dental assistant today, pretty handsome; another distraction to take away the pain perhaps? Sally, the receptionist, is telling her back information on the dentist, on how much he loves extractions. Knowing actually starts to make her nervous. Her overactive imagination kicks in and she pictures this man itching to pull anything. Finished with her procedure she smiles into the mirror and sees a toothless grin. She shudders at the thought.
There’s whistling coming down the stairs and footsteps that sounded like a bigger person made them. A man who looks like the Spanish version of Santa Claus walks into the dental office.
“Today is a glorious day!!” He said with jolly “Are you ready for today? Let’s get started!”
She looks at Sally as the man goes behind the door to set up.
“Don’t worry.” Sally said, “He’s really good. Everyone comments they don’t feel a thing.”
Sitting in the chair the new assistant puts on classical music. A big change from the normal random TV shows they play. She makes small talk and notices a wedding ring. Too bad, she was going to get his number for this girl who has a thing for Russian men. The dentist came in with six needles filled with Novocain. He fills her up effortlessly; one needle for each corner, one for the roof of her mouth, and the last one for her bottom gums.
He takes off his mask to smile at her “There is no need to worry sweetheart. I have a friend with me today. You probably know him . . .” She blinks at him as the suction continues in the silence. “Jesus. He is with me and he is my best friend. Everything will be fine.” She remembers that this dentist is also a pastor; God gave him two callings.
She tenses up as she feels him pulling at her tooth, she’s too doped up to feel pain but can still feel movement. Each tooth comes out with no problems; the assistant and Santa dentist make small talk. Teaching the assistant of the basics of extraction he tells the assistant that he likes to do it the natural way. Santa dentist says it’s the best way to get a clean pull and is less dangerous for the patient. All that she knows is that she may need to take a nap; the last tooth is taking longer than the others. Is this the reason why Frank Ocean made that song? She thought before everything went black.
Vines
Four windows and twenty tabs
Drowning in green quicksand
Not understanding how to map
Unsure if she really can
Writing and hating how it sounds
Compliments that aren’t profound
Makes you question the bow
Wondering if people feel different now
How disappointed they will be
Debt up to her ears
No one to hear
Her swinging from a vine
Swinging In The Dark
It’s unsettling
The night calms yet brings dreams
Nightmares
She never did change
Was it for the people who wrote in her yearbook?
Was it for herself?
She sits in the dark staring at walls
She doesn’t know how to do this
There are no red marks on her arms
A sure sign she’s getting better
Nightmares
She pushed friends away and died
They won’t miss her anyway
She made sure of it
She’s too curious to leave them alone
Internet addiction
Social Media worship
Nightmares
Even when home she wants to be there
Home
Where is it?
She likes the feel of night
Never scared of walking alone in it
Darkness is different
She always runs away from it
Swings are perfection
The only thing that will truly make her happy
Swinging in the dark
inquisitivepenelope 