She had wrapped herself for me. I did not open it on the day. When I came to retrieve her next day the ribbon was untied. Someone had stolen my present. Was it more that she ran away?
Tag: poem
Blue, Bird
One son named Blue and a daughter named Birdy. I’ll tell my son every day that the world wants to see him cry and sing. He will roar and breathe fire letting the world to see his strength. I’ll tell my daughter that the song blackbird isn’t her life story. She will fly meeting many people to learn from. Absorb the confidence, patience, and strength of our ancestors. Learn more, strive for more and people will see your name and color in a different light. I will tell them this because I never grew my strength, I want for them to find and cultivate theirs. To show the world that wisdom and kindness go together and shouldn’t be considered a weakness. That we never really grow up but are able to slowly make the right decisions. That I love them, that they are mine, and I will always cheer for them. I won’t tell them that they are special, that’s something they need to find out themselves. My dear bluebirds I set you free in a dark and cold world; my light always pointing towards warmth and peace.
The Drowning Child
There once was a child born underwater. Her mother felt it safer and a better way to grow her. She lived her days watching her mother and all else walk over her. From where she stood neither way of living looked better. Her mother was sick and kept the extent of it from her, by the time she found out her worst nightmare was upon her. She knew there’d be people wanting to save her, but she wasn’t so sure if they really wanted to help her. The death of her mother made her pull herself further. Under the deep blue filter the people looked smaller, were they just ghosts of what was offered? She questioned if these realms were even for her. So many people arms outstretched above her, still, she just continued to swim down under. As she saw the helping ropes and good blessings she started to realize that she should have never even bothered. Every day is a horror that she cursed these poor people hoping to see the drowning child to touch and comfort. She never learned and didn’t want to, still, she felt bad for the people above her. She should try to live like they, she thought often. She was never able to get past horror. She’s still down under the water filling it with tears and salt hoping to choke her.
Nothing
Nothing. Me, life, dreams, beauty.
Ears, mouth and sighs. Nothing.
No skills, no faith, no time, no feels.
Nothing, wanting more, fear.
Not happy, no one is. Nothing left. Only fear.
Nothing. Fear. Life, death. Difference? None. Last step. Death.
Nothing. Me. Nothing. Death. Freedom.
Adulthood
It kind of feels like you’re still five years old and you get thrown into a fire pit
No warning that there is such a thing that could hurt so much
No rules on how to get out of it
Just burning
While in this fire you will meet other people who are on fire
Their fire seems less hot and easier to deal with
You try to learn their ways only to have it backfire
You wonder why no one taught you any of this
What was all that education for?
What were parents, teachers, and professors for?
They stand there soaking wet as you burn
All the while saying how proud they are
“Proud that I’m dying?”
“We went through it. You’ll be ok”
Forget this system of misinformation
Only One
I hate how life feels like
A dog on a treadmill chasing after a steak
Pretending that we all know what we are doing
Judging others only on what we can see
Is it wrong of me to see everyone’s beauty?
Is it wrong of me to see the unnecessary?
I would much rather enjoy life
It must have been manufactured by a lunatic
It doesn’t have to be so hectic
What if you are the type of person that just wants to exist?
Why is that so wrong?
When you try so hard to get somewhere but you really didn’t get anything at all
Am I the only one?
Ice Cream Truck
When you hear the first chime
You know it’s time
To do all the things you pine
The Ice Cream Truck!!
You’re in luck
The best way to spend a buck
That’s not what you want
Your agenda is to flaunt
Maybe a new lover to haunt
Enjoy the sights
Enjoy the nights
Do it with all your might
Look for the mime
Watch the ducks
Never forget to love with your heart
Don’t ever wait for your Knight
I, Breathe
Ask me if I am happy
I will answer
I never expected to be
For someone that looks so happy
There is no faith in humanity
No one is worthy of it
My favorite song in a murderous musical
It is basically how I feel about life most days
“We all deserve to die, even you Miss. Lovett, even I”
That song begins to play constantly in my head
I know that I’m going mad
It’s all I can think about
I start to question if bad things are really bad
If I am the only one that is drowning on malfeasance
Then comparison begins
I have not suffered
I have not tried hard enough
Why do I have the right to feel this way?
I probably don’t
Yet, here I am
Weak and unworthy
Still breathing . . .
Spring Showers
I wrote it as a random FB status. Then I realized I liked. When I tried to save it forever FB tried to tell me it did not exist. Here it is, thanks to FB memories.
I smelt that scent again.
The scent I told you I loved so much.
The on set of rain in the air.
It only happens in the Spring you know, that scent.
The pictures that were taken of us wet as if from swimming with our clothes on.
Of you looking into the camera full of love as the ripplets of water slid down your face.
Spring smells will always remind me of you.
Every April, whenever it rains and that smell hits my nostrils
I will look for you and whisper “I miss you”
Empty Heart
There’s nothing when I look at you
My heart doesn’t flutter or skip a beat
You aren’t always on my mind
I don’t only think of you and me
Although, I wish I did
I wish my life was like the movies sometimes
That I can fall in love quickly
Skip through the rain just enjoying existence
That money wasn’t a thing
Danger was something to laugh at
All the great things of movies
Truth is all I have is fear
The inability to understand people
Getting too close means you’ll be lost
Emotions clouding your judgement
Jealousy of other importants
Feeling even more worthless
Worrying that you’re a nuisance
Which is why I run
Friends are the closest relationships
There is no love here
No magic land of fluttering hearts
No soulmate understanding thoughts
No one inside the empty heart