She sat down in the leather seat, petting. Soft brown leather prepared, to tell the truth, this time. The older man in front of her pale and gray, legs crossed, judging. She has, to tell the truth, but where to start.

“How are you feeling today? Anything you want to talk about?” He says while opening up his notepad.

“I don’t know. I don’t have much to talk about. I haven’t really been doing much. Work, sleep, eat, repeat. The days I have off seem endless yet too short.”

“What do you do on your days off? Do you do anything that  you want to enjoy?”

“Well, nothing really. Everything sucks and I’m broke. What is there to do? So, I stay home and watch movies or stupid television shows. Anything that doesn’t have to do with reality because I avoid the things that I don’t like. I watch the things that I want to do and feel but dare not go after.”

“Why do you feel that  you shouldn’t go after them? What stops you from enjoying these things?”

“For one, I don’t deserve them. I also have learned at an early age wanting things and actually getting them normally ends badly. The path there sucked, you get there and it sucks still. Relationships, goals, life in general at least that what it feels like. Who knows maybe I’m wrong but then that just proves further that I don’t belong here. I’m pretty sure there has been some mistake.”

“Relationships. Let’s talk more about that, which one of your relationships have made you fee this way? Who was it and when was it?”

“I remember it well, it was when I knew that living with my father was never an option. It’s also when I knew his truth without anyone telling me. Something he would not admit to me until I was sixteen or seventeen years old.

I was about six years old, excited because it was Daddy’s night. I get to sleep over the big blue house, I would get real television, no bunny ears, be away from my mom, see my grandpa. It was going to be great it would be everything that I wanted. Daddy wanted to get something from the corner store. I’ve always liked car rides so I’m excited to go with him. When we get there is this man there. Wearing all white with a long Santa beard, saying hello to my father. My father says hi back and tells him to come over to the car to meet me. He tells my dad that he can’t, his feet are stuck but hello little one. I tell my dad we should just go, that the man isn’t right. Even though being a sheltered child I knew danger when I saw it. I knew that if my dad went over to that man, his feet would get stuck too. My dad didn’t listen to me, he went to the fake Santa they talked for a while, it felt like over an hour. I rolled down the window and yelled to my dad to come on. I’m a child I should go to bed early, even though I never did go to bed early. I was always one to toss and turn and watch the clock. Go to sleep for a few hours and wake up in the morning like I slept for a whole day. Anyway, he comes to the car and he says to me that my uncle will be coming to pick me up because he knows that I am tired. He was going to hang out with his friend for a while. My favorite uncle came to pick me up, he came to pick me up and we sang the songs on the radio on the way to his house. In the back of my mind, I knew my dad wasn’t going to be coming for me that night. I talked to my uncle as if he was, I told him that my dad was silly, but he was definitely coming to pick me up. My uncle’s girlfriend fixed me some food, I can’t remember her face, I can only remember that I thought she was very pretty.  While I was eating my food and I was telling my uncle about the things my dad and I were going to do. When I finished I looked at my uncle and said ‘Daddy’s not coming back tonight is he?’ He looked back at me sad and nodded his head. I knew my dad had left me, I knew my uncle wouldn’t tell me directly what it was that took him away, but I knew. I’ve always known. My mom never had to tell me, my dad never had to confess it. I knew. I’ve never told anyone about this. Cause there was no reason to I felt,  but I liked telling it.”

“Well, I’m honored. Thank you for telling me. I guess I can understand how you felt that way after that. Especially after not opening up about it. People around you thinking that you don’t know but you know pretty well actually.”

“Ya, adults never think kids are very smart. They are, they know and understand a lot more than what we give them credit for. This is why I think philosophy is interesting, to think that we have all the knowledge from previous but we forget it and have to learn it all again.”

“That is an interesting concept. Plato is one of the most interesting philosophers out there.”

“Let me ask you this though doctor. If you had the knowledge of your previous reality and the choice to live. Would you choose to be born doctor?”

The timer went off telling the doctor and the patient that time was up. She got up with not a word and left. Normally the doctor would keep going a little after the session, make sure everything was wrapped up. She left him no chance of that, leaving without the answers.