Insomnia
Something I’ve had since young
Winter night walks
Something that unravels my chest
Crisp air that reminds me that I am alive
Blackness and cold that I wrap around myself
Nothing is more beautiful than nature untouched
I alone walking in the weightless dark
It is possible to think of nothing
It is possible to feel like nothing
Both not actually being a bad thing
Surrounded by such grandeur
How do I actually compare?
Pretty lines of music
Tug on them to find more
Down the rabbit hole
Where less is more
Dirty deeds and massacres
The lines turn red
The black parade is coming
Remember that Death is your friend
The first lie I ever learned was a word Just four letters that everyone strived for You say it to your parents, you say it to your friends When in reality it’s just a means to an end Learning about the person Objectifying who … Continue reading First Lie
Wiping the tears Rubbing backs Cooking while singing Binge watching Loving the way they wake up Listening to complaints First time in a month First time in months Unanswered texts Cute pics on SM Alone Stories unfold Without me Standing here My choice In my … Continue reading My Place
She knocked on my door like she always did
Ghost like
Nothing to do, why not hang out with a friend
She knows I don’t see her as a friend
We pretend
I tried to quiet my heart
Unable to stop it’s talking when she was near
She just wanted sleep
She could have gone home
She could have done something more productive
Alas, here she is in my bed sleeping
I play the music loud to drown out my heart
She can’t hear either
Me liking her makes no sense
We’d never be compatible
Then I watch her breathe
How peaceful she looks
I watch as she takes a breath
Follow the flow of oxygen
In through her nose
Symmetrical with her lips
Always slightly chapped
Like how she’s always slightly hungry
Down her long tanned neck
Her chest moves with life
Always sighing in sleep
Then she wakes up blinking at me
Caught
She stares into my eyes
Forcing me to fidget
She has an amazing person
I try to remind myself
We’ve been friends for long
Not love, just infatuation
Memories
When we said ‘I love you’
As friends
Next to her gravitational pull
I have pictures
My lips her kneck
My lips her thighs
My lips between her
She’s just a friend
I’m just a doormat with a bed
One that always says ‘Welcome Home’
I tried to grab her
All I got was air
She left the way I knew she would
What to do?
Now that the light is gone
I’m here empty
Is this how an empty husk feels?
Forced to exist
Having no reason to
Not wanting to
You woke up though
Seize the day, is it?
Your purpose in life is not to die
Even if that is all you are thinking
I called her my wife
We only knew each other for two short weeks
I probably sensed it then
We were from the same cloth
It was rare to see me without her
Her without me
In her car, eating food, walking anywhere
I told everyone that she was mine
We never dated
We were just always together
All those lesbians eyeing her could go to hell
I claimed her
I lost her though
She told me the truth
I was the only one that had nothing going on
Crying on my bed she tells me of her ex-girlfriend
She gave no inkling
Nor any promises
It was just my selfishness
They broke up. This changes nothing
She lays on my bed
Hands above her head
An invisible rope around her wrists
She deserves a punishment for straying
I tell her that she’s mine. She can never get away.
She had wrapped herself for me. I did not open it on the day. When I came to retrieve her next day the ribbon was untied. Someone had stolen my present. Was it more that she ran away?
One son named Blue and a daughter named Birdy. I’ll tell my son every day that the world wants to see him cry and sing. He will roar and breathe fire letting the world to see his strength. I’ll tell my daughter that the song blackbird isn’t her life story. She will fly meeting many people to learn from. Absorb the confidence, patience, and strength of our ancestors. Learn more, strive for more and people will see your name and color in a different light. I will tell them this because I never grew my strength, I want for them to find and cultivate theirs. To show the world that wisdom and kindness go together and shouldn’t be considered a weakness. That we never really grow up but are able to slowly make the right decisions. That I love them, that they are mine, and I will always cheer for them. I won’t tell them that they are special, that’s something they need to find out themselves. My dear bluebirds I set you free in a dark and cold world; my light always pointing towards warmth and peace.
