Sleep, work, break to eat, work, home, eat, and sleep again
Same thing different day
When you were a kid you were the only one who didn’t want to grow up
You were the only one that seemed to understand the truth
Nothing gets better, you can buy things to mask, but don’t get addicted
You prayed
Not having to make choices
Nothing no longer being unfair
No longer fearing letting them all down
You prayed
You understood that there was probably a plan
A plan that you didn’t know
A plan you should follow, it was neither right or wrong
You prayed to no longer be apart of that plan
You prayed for eternal sleep
Yet, here you are twelve years later with nothing on your feet
Your life in a cardboard box
People giving you looks
Pity, shame, hatred and
You pray no one else will fall to this
Tag: poem
Horrors
She told me not to worry
Like she always did
Now she doesn’t answer my messages
Like those seven years before
She called one late night
As if time didn’t past I ran
Queens to Brooklyn
Leave him I said
High school reunion coming up
Neurotic nights
Too high and burdened with responsibilities
She wanted me to run to her again
I didn’t
She told me about him again
Marriage on the horizon
House sitting on a secluded island
She’s not answering my messages
She’s not answering my texts
A bad feeling sets in my stomach and heart
She’s online so she has to be ok
If he didn’t murder her and leave her phone on
She had already cut me off
Leaving me on read
Like always
Horror stories playing out in my head
Words and Phases
I have begun to realize that words are useless
There isn’t one great reason just many decent ones
People don’t listen so words fall
People don’t speak well so words are misunderstood
People are scared so words aren’t formed
The ability to scare yourself silent
That is the tragedy of being human
In the same breath they can bring peace
Hope, salvation, all of the positivity
All coming down to a point of view
All coming down to reading between the lines
Communication isn’t just words
It’s movement and extra sounds
A tragedy that we can’t always trust the five senses
Life and feelings are phases of change
One phase not looking like the other
A person’s phases and words never matching
A different stage a different meaning
Everyone’s interpretation silent
Senses and fears
We are human just words and phases
Night Walks
Insomnia
Something I’ve had since young
Winter night walks
Something that unravels my chest
Crisp air that reminds me that I am alive
Blackness and cold that I wrap around myself
Nothing is more beautiful than nature untouched
I alone walking in the weightless dark
It is possible to think of nothing
It is possible to feel like nothing
Both not actually being a bad thing
Surrounded by such grandeur
How do I actually compare?
The Hollow
Pretty lines of music
Tug on them to find more
Down the rabbit hole
Where less is more
Dirty deeds and massacres
The lines turn red
The black parade is coming
Remember that Death is your friend
First Lie
The first lie I ever learned was a word Just four letters that everyone strived for You say it to your parents, you say it to your friends When in reality it’s just a means to an end Learning about the person Objectifying who … Continue reading First Lie
My Place
Wiping the tears Rubbing backs Cooking while singing Binge watching Loving the way they wake up Listening to complaints First time in a month First time in months Unanswered texts Cute pics on SM Alone Stories unfold Without me Standing here My choice In my … Continue reading My Place
How to Feel
I tried to grab her
All I got was air
She left the way I knew she would
What to do?
Now that the light is gone
I’m here empty
Is this how an empty husk feels?
Forced to exist
Having no reason to
Not wanting to
You woke up though
Seize the day, is it?
Your purpose in life is not to die
Even if that is all you are thinking
Mine
I called her my wife
We only knew each other for two short weeks
I probably sensed it then
We were from the same cloth
It was rare to see me without her
Her without me
In her car, eating food, walking anywhere
I told everyone that she was mine
We never dated
We were just always together
All those lesbians eyeing her could go to hell
I claimed her
I lost her though
She told me the truth
I was the only one that had nothing going on
Crying on my bed she tells me of her ex-girlfriend
She gave no inkling
Nor any promises
It was just my selfishness
They broke up. This changes nothing
She lays on my bed
Hands above her head
An invisible rope around her wrists
She deserves a punishment for straying
I tell her that she’s mine. She can never get away.
inquisitivepenelope 