Burn me to ashes when you find me
Helena by My Chemical Romance
Remember Me by Umi
Play a mix of music lit and sad
Have a party and only share the positive
You all know the things I like
Make sure to use my ashes as fertilizer
I want to be near beaches
I want to be near nature
Allow my body to create a beautiful array of roses
Everytime a rose blooms it will be me saying thank you and I love you
Each petal that falls will be tears of happiness
Come visit my rose garden each day
The smell will be my embrace
The sun will be my pecks all over your face
When it rains it means that I want to play
Make sure to always jump in a puddle for me
Tag: poetry
Chasing Backs
At any age it feels the same
Just chasing
Hope when you get close
Just to blink and see
That ther is so much space
Berween
Whether an ocean
Or a sea
Just out of your reach
You wished they turned
To see the tears
The way your chest heaved
Physically turning green
Will you ever find love here?
BPD
I’m told this disorder stems from fear of abandonment
That ACE incidents shape the negatives
I’m told a story of coming to family with a nest of spiders in my hair
That abuse isn’t always physical or emotional
I tell myself that no one actually loves me
That things happen out of your control
I’m told by the universe I was created to bring happiness and love
All history has taught us that destruction is a constant
I’m told that people can be only good or only bad in my eyes
That’s why I could never forgive and forever love
How can one truly connect when feeling never a part?
How can you be a part when you’re always floating above?
Borderline of deciding something
Life, death, can’t I be done?
Silent Generation
To become wealthy you need to realize your riches.
Community was forced to be scattered.
Men and women were forced apart.
To do anything it MUST be done together.
Our aunts,uncles, and grannies taught us that.
Yet somehow we lost the plot.
Not just figuratively.
The ones who were silent worked away no longer slaves.
Only loudest with things they made.
Things they gave. We took for granted.
Things done together and for each other, exchanged.
Back yards, ramblings, all the dinners.
Things change for greed.
Wealth isn’t numbers they tried to say.
Land. A home. Love without sound. Music that thinks, feels, and lives.
Ever growing.
Why want pulp and dye when you can have Earth?
God, Spirit, Universe called it nourishment.
Maybe being silent let you hear the plan.
The darkest and dreariest times make for green pastures.
Community gathered abundance.
Fake prophets for profits promised everything and delivered nothing.
Houses with yards and fences once there to come now severed.
But you always have to die to live on.
A Cat Named November
In the daylight I felt my body quake
Warmth of the sun on my back
The sound of his breath in my ear
A cat meowing on the fire escape
I padded across to the kitchen
My studio apartment felt woken
As if my stretch and yawn caused a stir
The man however didn’t
Put on the coffee
Crack a few eggs
Scramble it with some whole milk
Talk to the cat
It had appeared one rainy fall
Cats normally choose you
He? She? It? November?
Came with the scent of burning wood and onset rain
Autumn was the greatest time of year
Sweater weather, Comfiness
The love and appreciation of what you have
November came with a loud meow
An orange tabby
With brown highlights
Begging for safety
They smelled the rain too
Ran inside as the window opened
A relationship
Not ownership
Comes and goes when sees fit
Has a bed, food, and water
Leaves presents on the fire escape
Only comes in when it rains and to eat
Says good morning and good night
Studies, cooks and sings with me
The man stirred and raised quickly
Nightmare? Slept so good was unaware?
Where he was, who he was with
His focus came slow just like his sly smile
November came in
Meowing as if asking who he was
“A friend who stayed over. Handsome, right?”
The man’s smile turned boyish
Hand stretched out to welcome this authority
November must have approved
Jumped in the man’s lap
Purring and kneading his bare skin
Brown boy
Orange cat
Moring glory
Let’s eat
November enjoyed a bowl of wet food Between I and him
Trusted, but know your place
November kept an eye on him
Prayers
Sleep, work, break to eat, work, home, eat, and sleep again
Same thing different day
When you were a kid you were the only one who didn’t want to grow up
You were the only one that seemed to understand the truth
Nothing gets better, you can buy things to mask, but don’t get addicted
You prayed
Not having to make choices
Nothing no longer being unfair
No longer fearing letting them all down
You prayed
You understood that there was probably a plan
A plan that you didn’t know
A plan you should follow, it was neither right or wrong
You prayed to no longer be apart of that plan
You prayed for eternal sleep
Yet, here you are twelve years later with nothing on your feet
Your life in a cardboard box
People giving you looks
Pity, shame, hatred and
You pray no one else will fall to this
Horrors
She told me not to worry
Like she always did
Now she doesn’t answer my messages
Like those seven years before
She called one late night
As if time didn’t past I ran
Queens to Brooklyn
Leave him I said
High school reunion coming up
Neurotic nights
Too high and burdened with responsibilities
She wanted me to run to her again
I didn’t
She told me about him again
Marriage on the horizon
House sitting on a secluded island
She’s not answering my messages
She’s not answering my texts
A bad feeling sets in my stomach and heart
She’s online so she has to be ok
If he didn’t murder her and leave her phone on
She had already cut me off
Leaving me on read
Like always
Horror stories playing out in my head
Words and Phases
I have begun to realize that words are useless
There isn’t one great reason just many decent ones
People don’t listen so words fall
People don’t speak well so words are misunderstood
People are scared so words aren’t formed
The ability to scare yourself silent
That is the tragedy of being human
In the same breath they can bring peace
Hope, salvation, all of the positivity
All coming down to a point of view
All coming down to reading between the lines
Communication isn’t just words
It’s movement and extra sounds
A tragedy that we can’t always trust the five senses
Life and feelings are phases of change
One phase not looking like the other
A person’s phases and words never matching
A different stage a different meaning
Everyone’s interpretation silent
Senses and fears
We are human just words and phases
Night Walks
Insomnia
Something I’ve had since young
Winter night walks
Something that unravels my chest
Crisp air that reminds me that I am alive
Blackness and cold that I wrap around myself
Nothing is more beautiful than nature untouched
I alone walking in the weightless dark
It is possible to think of nothing
It is possible to feel like nothing
Both not actually being a bad thing
Surrounded by such grandeur
How do I actually compare?
The Hollow
Pretty lines of music
Tug on them to find more
Down the rabbit hole
Where less is more
Dirty deeds and massacres
The lines turn red
The black parade is coming
Remember that Death is your friend